Again...

Again you call for me.

Again I come running. 

Again you make me happy. 

Again I feel like I'm on top of the world. 

Again I brave the consequences. 

Again I can lie in your arms. 

Again you're finished with me. 

Again I don't dare to ask for anything more. 

Again you push me away. 

Again I retract to let you go. 

Again you hurt me. 

Again I smile for you despite the pain.

Escape Inside

My outer mask is smiling
But I'm crying inside
It appears brave and daring
A shield to hide behind

I hear it say it's ok.
But I'm screaming I'm not
I struggled to tell someone
I yelled, shouted and fought

But nobody can hear me,
Truth sealed within my lips.
On the surface the mask speaks,
Not but the words from scripts.

This mask is a solid wall
That's blocking out the world,
Behind my mask it's darkness,
Light filtered into swirls.

As peace settles behind it,
I understand it's worth.
It was my choice to hide here,
To escape my own derth.

Replacement

When I'm talking to you,

Is her voice in the air?
Do you miss her perfume
When you're smelling my hair?

When you close your eyes,
Do you still see her face?
Do you long for her touch,
Wrapped in my embrace?

Do you live life with me
Submerged in a trance?
Would you trade me for her,
If you're given the chance?

Alone

Even when we were thousands of miles apart,
I'm not really alone.
As long as we're are together,
With you in my thoughts, and me on your mind.

Without you in my life
Even if I'm surrounded by people
Crowds of familiar faces
The encouragement of family
The laughter of friends.
I feel lost.

When the phone rings and it's not you.
I would give every name on my list.
Just to see yours on the screen
Just one more time.

When I pick up the phone to call you.
I dial the number, then hit cancel.
Because I can already see you sigh,
As you turn and give her an apologetic look
Before answering out of pity.
When I already hear the annoyance in your voice.
When I know I'll be bothering you.

When I remember the saying
"You may be just one person in the world,
But you may be the world to one person."
When you walked away,
My world crumbled at your feet.

When my world stopped turning.
When I looked around and no longer saw you.
Only then did I realize what it meant to be alone.

Empty

Holding onto your hand,
I feel like the world is watching.
Envious of me,
Because I have you.

Wrapped safely in your arms,
I feel protected, sheltered.
Harm can't come my way.
Because I have you.

As I'm watching you smile,
I feel the heavens on me.
The sun shines brightly
Because I have you.

With you're there behind me,
I'm fearless and confident.
I walk straight and proud.
Because I have you.

Now my hand can't find yours.
The world is full of strangers.
And I can only watch them.
When I can't find you.

Without your arms around me.
My wall of defense has fallen.
I'm bare and vulnerable.
With no one to protect me.

Without your smile in life.
The skies became dark and gray.
Rain drops hide my tears.
Because you've left me.

I turn around and you're gone.
I stumble and lose my ground.
I'm unsure of who I am.
I am nothing without you.

Alone,
Scared,
Confused
Uncertain.

I must learn to walk again.
I must learn to fake a smile.
I must learn to be happy.
I must learn to live alone.

Words Left Unsaid

He reads her notes,
He sees she still cares.
He hears her say,
She'll always be there.

When he is stressed
And things aren't right.
He'd wish for her
To hold him tight.

He remembers her laugh,
And her chubby cheeks.
The way her eyes twinkle
The way she speaks.

He smiles to himself
As he thinks of her
One day he'll tell her
He loves her for sure.

Then one morning,
He got a call.
He thought it was her,
But it wasn't at all.

They said they were sorry,
They had tried their best
They just couldn't wake her
From her eternal rest.

She left him a note.
The last one he'll get.
Said her world changed,
The day they met.

She apologized again,
And she hopes he can see
That because she loves him
She'll set him free.

Tears fall on the note,
As he read it once more.
He wished he had told her
His thoughts before.

To tell her he forgives her
He didn't mean to let go.
He sees all her efforts
To tell her he knows.

But now it's too late.
He says his good-byes.
As they lower her casket
A part of him dies.

In my Perfect Dreams

I lay in the dark
and I close my eyes
I wish I was dreaming
And living in lies

Out in the real world
You're no longer here
But deep within dreamland
I can waive my fears

We walk hand in hand
Our fingers entwined
No one moving forward
No one left behind

I live in this dream
and here I will hide
Where everything's perfect
With you by my side