Love Won't Wait (Age: 15)

They once were binded
But not no more.
She left him behind
And so he closed the door.
She started to walk away
But turned back to look.
She thought that he would stay
But he shut his heart, the keys he took.
Suddenly she realized
That she really does care.
But they've said their good-byes
No longer was he there
He could've told her not to go
But his pride was in the way.
She could've told him she loves him so
But to her, that was for him to say.
So she turned once again
And soon she was gone.
Even thought it was the end.
Neither of them would completely move on.
Just then a shadow slowly appeared
And he stepped out from behind the door.
Down his cheek ran a silent tear
As he said his good-byes once more.

Lying Masks (Age: 15)

To everyone who knows me
I'm cheerful
Always bouncing around
Talking
Laughing
I'm someone to cheer everyone else up
But who will cheer me up?

To everyone who knows me
I'm happy
My life is perfect
Everything I've ever wanted is mine
I'm smart
I have a lot of friends
And guys
But I have nothing.

To everyone who knows me
I'm conceited
I know that I'm pretty
And smart
I know exactly who I am
And I can do whatever I want
But my security is so shaky
I need people to tell me what I already know.

To everyone who thinks they know me
They're wrong
It's all a mask
To cover up my unhappiness
My loneliness
My insecurity.
No one knows the real me.

*funny how something I wrote 10 years ago can STILL describe my feelings*

Unknown Feeling (Age: 15)

I have this feeling inside of me.
I don't know what it is.
I can't describe it.
It's this weird dropping feeling
Full of unhappiness.
I feel so lonely.
All by myself.
Like no one cares.
My soul is flooding with my river of tears
Because I won't release them.
I won't weaken myself
By showing my feelings.
So I keep them all inside.
One day,
My tears would completely flood my soul,
Moving on to my heart,
my conscience,
my spirit.
Everything would be flooded.
And I will drown in my own tears.

Mood Swings (Age: 15)

This is so fucked up, I swear.
It's like I'm on a swing
Constantly going
Up and down, up and down.

Somedays, I'm in such a good mood.
I'd walk around singing,
Joking with my friends.
I'd have my head in the clouds
With the sun.
Whatever I do is fun and interesting.
I'd always have a smile on my face.

But then the fuckin' stupid mood swings would kick in.
The swing would swoop way way down.
Fuck, it'll just fuckin' break off.
Everyone around me would be so annoying!
Everything they say pisses me off!
Fuck, everything pisses me off!
FUCK!!!

All my bottled up emotions would explode.
My anger will be uncontrollable.
The thoughts of suicide constantly crosses my mind.
Everything I think.
Every little thought
Is negative.

One day I won't be able to take it.
One day everything will fuckin' explode.
One day I'll crack and do what I never had guts to do.
One day suicide would not be just a thought.