Final Good-bye (Age: 17)

I'm sorry it has to end this way
But there's nothing left to do.
I tried to hide it with these masks
But my heart is frozen blue.

I tried to be happy.
I tried to hold the tears.
I tried to convince myself
That people truly care.
I'd pretend that someone loves me.
I'd believe the things they say.
I tried to be a normal person
But I can't feign this charade.

Behind my mask I'm crying.
My loneliness has won.
My hopes and dreams, defeated.
My race has been run.

Tell everyone it's not their fault
and I know that they had tried.
I know that it was hard to see
What I had hidden inside.
But don't blame me for giving up
I fought hard until the end.
I struggled to live my life
But I can't live playing pretend.

Constant Thoughts (Age: 17)

I think you like me.
I think you don't.
I think I should ask you
But I think I won't.
I think of these questions
Inside of my head.
Sometimes I just think of you
While lying in bed.
I think I should call you.
I think I should wait.
I think I should ask you
But now, I think it's too late.
I picture us together.
I think of your touch.
And sometimes I think that
I just think too much.

Confused (Age: 17)

Why are you confusing me?
What is this game you play?
Why do you leave me wondering
If you mean the words you say?
Why don't you keep your promises
When you say that you would call?
Why did you life me up so high
And not catch me when I fall?
Do you mean to confuse me?
Do you want to play this game?
Your words say you like me too
But are you thoughts the same?

Lies (Age: 17)

Even if I hide my feelings
And pretend that I don't care.
I could stop thinking of you
And everything we've shared.
I could say I've never loved you
And deny that I had cried.
It didn't really bother me
When you called to say good-bye.
I could pretend that I don't miss you
Or the way we used to kiss.
That I don't put my life on pause
To sit away and reminisce.
I could make it seem like nothing's wrong.
This is how I want it to be.
But even if I fool the world
I could never lie to me.

Replacement (Age: 17)

When I see them talking
I don't know what to do.
All I could think of
Is we used to talk too.
When I see him smile at her
I'd need to turn away.
It kills me to remember
He smiled at me that way.
His eyes would follow her
The way they followed me.
But I'm forced to keep in mind
It's no longer me he sees.
I'd watch them laugh and joke
While I sit away and cry.
I try to act like I don't care
But it's killing me inside.
Everything they're doing now,
He's done with me before.
But that had happened in the past
And the past exists no more.