Deadlock (Age: 16)

I hate this game I'm forced to play,
Pretending I don't care.
Hiding what I truly feel
Behind this icy stare.
I hate not knowing what to do
Yet, trying to somehow win.
Wanting so bad to tell you
What I hide within.
Why can't I take off this mask I wear
And let my feelings show?
Why can't I tell you everything.
To let you know what you should know.
To say what's important.
To open up my heart.
To tell you what you mean to me
And what I've thought from the start.
But I hate the thought of losing,
The thought of giving in.
But if I don't... I'd lose you.
No matter what, I wouldn't win.